A structured, judgment-free space for couples to explore desires, define boundaries, and build intentional agreements — at whatever pace feels right for both of you.
The conversation you've been wanting to have
Exploring ethical non-monogamy is one of the most vulnerable conversations a couple can have. There's excitement — and there's also fear, uncertainty, and a thousand questions you're not sure how to ask.
This workbook gives you the structure to have that conversation well. Not rushed. Not reactive. But thoughtfully, with both of you heard.
Designed by India Simms — a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sexologist who works with ENM and polyamorous couples every day — this isn't a generic checklist. It's the kind of guided exploration her clients do in session, now available to take home.
"Opening a relationship intentionally, with care and communication, is one of the most courageous things a couple can choose to do. This workbook exists because the conversation matters."
— India Simms, LCMFT · Certified Sexologist- Answer prompts individually first — then share. The side-by-side format prevents one partner from anchoring the other's response.
- Covers the full ENM spectrum: swinging, hierarchical polyamory, non-hierarchical poly, open relationships, solo poly, and relationship anarchy.
- Comfort-level scales surface conversations that are hard to start from scratch.
- The Agreements table has built-in review dates — because good agreements evolve.
- Includes a reusable Check-In template to revisit every 4–8 weeks as your relationship grows.
- Grounded in Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy principles.
- Safe, judgment-free, and affirming of all relationship structures and identities.
6 guided
sections
Each section builds on the last — moving from individual reflection to shared vision, structured boundaries, emotional readiness, formal agreements, and an ongoing check-in practice.
- Independent reflection prompts
- Motivation checkbox grid
- Shared vision exercise
- 6 ENM model cards
- Per-partner interest rating
- Full spectrum: swinging to anarchy
- 3 comfort-level scales
- Hard limit prompts
- Clinical note from India
- Emotion identification grid
- Co-regulation needs mapping
- SOS signal & support plan
- 9-topic agreement table
- Built-in review dates
- Sex, privacy, finances & more
- Reusable check-in template
- Gratitude closing ritual
- Designed for every 4–8 weeks
This workbook is for you if…
You don't need to have everything figured out before you open this workbook. You just need to be willing to have the conversation.
The Haven Center specializes in working with ENM and polyamorous couples across Maryland, DC, and Virginia. This workbook reflects the same framework India uses with clients in session.
Therapy-informed, experience-backed
India Simms opened The Haven Center for Therapy and Wellness in 2019 with a clear mission: create a space where no topic is too messy, too small, or too taboo to tackle. As a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sexologist, she brings a rare combination of clinical depth and sex-positive, identity-affirming practice.
She works regularly with ENM couples, polyamorous families, and individuals navigating sexual identity — using Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy frameworks to help people build relationships that are honest, intentional, and genuinely fulfilling.
This workbook distills what she does in session into a format you can use at home, on your own timeline, together.
"I believe every couple deserves tools that meet them where they are — not where society says they should be. This workbook is one of those tools."
— India Simms, LCMFT · The Haven Center · Owings Mills, MDStart the conversation tonight
Download instantly, print at home or fill digitally, and begin the most important conversation you and your partner can have — with a structure that actually helps.
Already in therapy with The Haven Center? This workbook is a great complement to your sessions — bring it in and work through it together with India.
Or book a session with India →- 7 beautifully designed pages
- 6 guided sections for couples
- Print-ready PDF + fillable HTML
- Therapist & Sexologist designed
- Instant delivery via Etsy
- Personal use license included